I have been feeling like God is reminding me that I don't always ask Him for whatever I need. I was at a new church and the had a time for healing prayer. I was thinking about going up, but hearing the argument that my stomach issues are not that serious. Then my husband said, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but I think you are here for a reason." I went forward and the man prayed. As he did, it hit me that I had not even brought this issue to my heavenly Father. My stomach has felt much better.

Then a few days later, I was talking with a friend and heard her talking about some issue and it hit me, that she probably hadn't asked God either. So I mentioned it and we both realized that there is a fear of God saying, "No." or not being all He says He is. My heart broke as I saw this pocket of doubt that still exists in my relationship. Even after God has been so real and generous with me.

When you feel that God has let you down or at least, let serious trials into your life, it takes time to get to that place of total trust again. I won't give any person my abject trust again, but I certainly can place it where it belongs--in Christ. It was a reminder of where I have been and that scar tissue remains. I want to trust God and run to Him first with the full expectation that, though He may not answer my prayers exactly as I would want, He will use all of His power to meet me and provide what's best.