The holidays can be a mixed bag with the joy of giving, renewed traditions, Christmas activities and time with friends and family. For many, the shopping is a burden, all of the activities a heavy load, and time with family is an emotional mine field. This time of year which should be a joy filled, becomes something to endure instead.

The steady barrage of images of fun family times, stores offering the perfect gift, and movies that wrap up the season into a simple happy ending, can leave many feeling outside of all the merriment. When you are in the midst if hard times, pain and loss, the last thing you need is to be surrounded by joyfulness.

Everyone at some point will have a year when Christmas isn’t a welcome time. It’s okay, better days are coming, but to try to pretend takes a lot of energy. If you are busy happy and full of Christmas spirit, you can skip this blog and go do your holiday baking. But if you are like so many feeling more like Scrooge, then keep reading.

I don’t have a tonic or easy answer, but I would say give yourself permission to step back. Take a look at all the activities that feel like a burden and put some down. The world will continue to function if you don’t send out that Christmas card or letter. Your friends will not die if you don’t make those favorite holiday cookies. In fact, I would say focus on relationships as you trim back that “to do” list.

Give yourself permission to say no to that holiday party and to be honest about not feeling in a holiday mood. You may be surprised to find kindred spirits who are also struggling. Don’t be ashamed if you don’t have the money to buy all those “perfect” gifts. No one remembers all they received even the next week. Contrary to ever commercial your will see, stuff doesn’t matter, only people do.

Focus on the One who Christmas is named for and what it should be all about.  Kneel before the manger and ponder a new the humility it took for Christ to lay aside heaven and come to earth as a helpless babe. Remember the pain and loss he suffered for you. Then take His hand during this season and ask Him to show you how He sees it all. There are deep truths to be unearthed under all the wrappings and trappings.

One of the wildest lessons I have learned is that pain is a gift. God uses it to draw us to His side, to teach us about His perfect character and our flawed ones. If not for the trials of life, the gift of salvation would be nothing more than another promise in a sea of “money back guarantees.”  Feeling the desperation of a situation, can lead you into the arms of hope. Put down all the packages and reach out for the arms of your heavenly Father. Place at His feet the gift of your hurts and a sacrifice of praise. It will be the best Christmas gift ever!

Glory to God in highest and goodwill toward men!

It’s been a crazy fall. Just got back from three weeks in Europe sandwiched between two weeks in California. I’m done with traveling for a while. Of course it was a wonderful trip with a friend, but a long time away from my husband.

I lived in England when I was a teenager and had not been back since. Though I didn’t make it back to Great Britain, it was wonderful to see Ireland, Austria, and lots of Germany. It was the trip of a lifetime. I also reconnected with two high school friends.

I am always surprised at how different others see us sometimes. One of my friends confessed to being envious of me and thinking everything I did was perfect. My jaw dropped because she was the cheerleader and cute and funny. I was the bag of insecurities in my mind. God has shown me more than once how my trying to cover my own flaws gave the impression of having it all together.

It’s such a good reminder of why it’s so important to live in the truth and be authentic and vulnerable. When I am honest about my struggles, it gives other permission to do the same. The best part is I am not fostering insecurities in others. One of the best lessons is that no one “has it all together” and it’s why we need a Savior! The ground is level at the foot of the cross.

So, if you are feeling insecure, or less than, be of good cheer and take it to the Lord. If there is someone you think has it all, then know they are probably working really hard to cover their own insecurity. Pray for them and praise God for the freedom we have in Christ.

Thanks to all who prayed! The book is coming along and I am in the home stretch. Of course finishing the first draft is only the beginning. The real work comes in the writing, re-writing, editing, and revising. For me, writing is not a quick process. It's an object lesson. It keeps me dependent on the One who will give me strength to complete the work set before me.We all have a purpose.

There is a temptation to focus on the end result, the reward, but I have found God is all about the process. As a recovering perfectionist, I am reminded again and again, the real treasure is in the journey and the lessons learned along the way. Instead of focusing on the goal, I try to focus on the progress. So, I'm on chapter 13 and over 130 pages are behind me, but God is moving me along meeting me at every turn.

Whatever you are working on or wrestling with, remember the strength for each day will come from God. He often calls us to tasks that feel out of our reach because then we will look to Him and know we could not have done them on our own. The best news is God is more about our growth. He does not see failure if there is progress and He uses everything for good. So, reach out to Him today and let Him walk you through your day.

Thanks to all who prayed, my husband has a new job and it's a great fit--yay God!

Where is the time going? I have not written in a while. I do the same thing to God. Life get’s clipping along with no major hurdles and I think, “I’ve got this, God.” Then another bump in the road throws me off kilter. It’s funny I long to be consistent with Christ, but life just seems to have hills and valleys. Weather you are up or down, our Lord wants to share it. Just like we want to hear from our good friends and those we love.

Time apart does make the heart grow fonder. I do feel the drought sooner when I have been going on my own too long. The irony is I’m filling my time with what I feel God calling me to do. I am working on a historical fiction story that has been in my head for over 10 years. This is the first time I have had the freedom to do it. But I can’t do it on my own.

There are some writer’s who churn out books and have an amazing gift. Francine Rivers is my all time favorite and she could write and sell books before she was a believer. My work can come only with the help of the Holy Spirit. Of course Redeeming Love, the first book Francine wrote as a believer is still much loved and clearly has the hand print of God on it. But her path is not my path. God has given me something to say and placed the gift before me to take hold of along with His hand as I walk in obedience.

For this reason, I ask for your prayers. That my schedule will stay open this summer and that I can move my thoughts out of the way enough to hear His. Pray that the characters will feel real and that their story will have impact. Most of all I pray that God’s love and truth are the foundation. I encourage you too to find the gift God has for you or rekindle an old love. He delights in what we delight in. He is a loving Father that enjoys blessing the socks off His kids!

Stay tuned, and I will give you a taste of the story later this summer. :)

When we downsized into our town home, I was happy to see we still had some wild life in the field behind our home. After living beside a greenbelt, I was used to the deer, rabbits, and various birds that would visit. They were like little messages of love from God. The deer would show up in the strangest places, like crossing the main drag in Lincoln City. It got to the point that my friends who knew, and were often with me when they showed up, were convinced I would see deer in New York City. I haven’t tested their theory yet.

So, when the first deer showed up, no one was surprised. But my God likes to show off and one evening when we were having friends over for dinner, three bucks showed up. We were all amazed and knew it was a divine visit. Since then, I have seen bunnies and have a finch feeder that is full of beautiful yellow birds all summer long. But God hasn’t stopped there.

For several months of the year, our back field is full of Canadian geese. They are beautiful large birds and they always stay together. So, when they are resting it’s quiet, but when they all take off, the cacophony grows as they encourage each other. I love to watch them fly in V formations and hear their joyful honks. I realized the other day, as I was praying for a friend, I didn’t have anything profound to say that would ease her pain, but I thought I could maybe honk some encouragement. It worked.

I realized that the best thing we can offer each other on this journey that includes joy and pain is to fly together. When someone has fallen back, we can take the wind for a while until we get tired. Then when they are stronger, they can fly forward to take the resistance. All the while, we honk words of encouragement. Like, “You are not alone.” and, “I’ve know what you are going through.”

So, with this in mind, I decided to join the world of Twitter. I must confess to thinking it’s just one more thing to manage. Then I realized it might be a great tool to honk to others on this journey. So, if you are on Twitter, then look for me under hopegirl428. (My name was already taken.) I look forward to sending out tweets that encourage. I will call them honks instead. Look for someone you can honk at too. It’s amazing the difference it makes. Honk, honk!

I got back this weekend from speaking at a women's conference in Bothel, WA. The conference was for women who's huband's struggle with SA. It was a one day conference and there were over 100 women there. It was such a reminder of how pervasive this issue is and how few churches are willing to tackle the topic head on.

I heard over and over, women wishing there were more support groups and more resources. I decided when I get back from vacation to put all the conferences I know of, on the website as a resource. One woman came all the way from PA to be there. I love how women will do whaterve it takes to get help once they know there is a problem. So I ask that if you read this and know of an annual conference that deals specifically with this issue, please send me and email. I don't want to leave any out and I only know of a few.

Weather you are new to this journey or have been on the healing path for years, be encouraged and continue to ask God to reveal resources and people who will propell you down that healing path. So many women are suffering in silence in every church. Pray for God to continue to bring this issue into the spotlight. Pray too about how you can be a resource. Keeo your eyes open to the women God puts in your path. If every woman helped just one or two other women, what a power impact that would have.

It feels like a new season as I go on vacation, my hearts cry is to hear from God. What does He want this new chapter to look like. What is He calling me to do next. I covet your prayers as I rest, and reflect and give thanks to God for all He has done already. I will be praying to for all of you and your healing journey too. We serve and amazing God. I don't know how you can navigate life without Him!

Where does inspiration come from? Sometimes I wonder where I can go to get a spark of an idea. Other times, the ideas flow in sheets and it's hard to get them all down on paper. The last several months have felt like a dry season. Clouds are forming and I sense moisture in the air, but still nothing really certain.

I am in a "between" space. As I wait for my husband to find a job and my youngest daughter to move into her own place, having found a job. There are things in the works and I see movement. Above all, I trust the Lord to be guiding us and working on our behalf even when I don't see Him. He feels quieter right now, though I have no doubt He is present.

I was trying to describe how I feel to my husband and he reminded me of several issues I'm dealing with right now that are draining energy. I have a couple of relationships that are out of balance and I'm trying to navigate choppy waters and it is draining. I don't feel motivated or inspired right now. I have thought about writing a blog for weeks, but I feel like I have nothing new to say.

Then yesterday I went to the home of a local artist. She is a young mom and allowed me and a couple of friends into her studio. As we went around the room, there was a musician, master gardener, a painter, and myself a writer. She talked about what moves her to create and the ebb and flow from her canvas to her audience. Gradually, there was a drop of inspiration forming. Then I remembered all the emails I have received from women who have been impacted by my book and some drops began to form.

As we said our good byes and left, it was raining all the way home. I was able to soak in her creative space and remember wetter times and believe that movre were coming. So, the dryness isn't fully saturated, but I felt refreshed and reminded that the Creator of all inpiration is still busy at work. I saw Him in the eyes of another, and remembered He is in me too even when I don't feel Him.

If you are in a dry place, it's okay. It doesn't mean that you have done anything wrong. (The enemy will try to accuse you.) Sometimes it means your energy needs to be used for healing or resolving some issue. As much as I love the rain and the new life it produces, the dry times serve a purpose too. I'm learning to give thanks in all kinds of weather, because God's love is consistent, steadfast, and certain!

I do love this time of year!

One of my favorite pastimes is to sit in our living room when it's dark with only the tree lights and fireplace glowing. There is something magical about all the little lights and the way the ornaments sparkle. I think it brings me back to the anticipation of Christmas morning; waiting for my parents to get up. My sister and I often rose before the sun, out of sheer excitement.

I'm fully aware that Christmas can bring back sad memories too for those whose family situations were less than desirable. I invite you to reclaim this holy season. Make a new tradition that points directly back to your spiritual roots at the manger. Where in a dirty stable, with little light amid earthy aromas, a beautiful babe was born, the promised One, the ultimate Present--Jesus Christ.

If you have never invited Him into the mess of your own stable, I can think of no better time. He makes all things beautiful in His time. The best part is He takes us in whatever condition we come to him. He sees past it all to the potential that was placed in us before we were born. He simply asks that we invite Him in to lead us there.

Replace the dread of family squabbles and holiday havoc with the awesome anticipation of all the Heavenly Hosts that silent night. Let the glow of every little light be a reminder of the light that was born on that day to illuminate a dark world, one dark heart at a time. Take tame to put down your Christmas "To Do" list and sit and listen. Maybe when you get tired at the mall you can find a bench and watch the people as they go by. Pray for those God lays upon your heart and ask Him to give you His eyes for His children.

There is nothing greater than to know the king of Kings, lord of Lords and Maker of the Universe laied down all the riches and power of heaven to dwell among us and to demonstrate a love I will spend my whole life trying to understand. This is the true gift of Christmas. Everything else fades into the background when you focus on His light and everything else sparkles in the presence of His light.

Blessings this Christmas as you seek His face!

I wish I could write a new principle I've learned, but to be honest it feels like one of those backward steps we sometimes take. One of the most difficult aspects of being married is that what one person does impacts the other. You are simply too close to be unaffected. My husband is wrestling with core questions about God and as much as I would love to scream the answers to him, I know he has to find them for himself. I'm sure my time would be better spent on what God has for me in this space. :)

The challenge comes when my security rests on his finding the truth. Of course, my ultimate security rests in Christ, but there is the practical daily stuff that is very much affected by the person I live with. So, for today, I simply ask for your prayers. I need wisdom to know when to speak and when to be quiet. I long to hear God's voice. I pray Dave sees God, hears Him, and feels His presence too. I pray that he can see me. Pray too for next Sunday.

We are to share our story and I'm feeling less than ready. Of course, we can talk about the very real victories we have had, but it's hard when you are battle weary. The enemy would love for us to fold, but greater is He that is in us and he that is in the world! Thanks for your prayers!

At the recent Betrayal Redeemed conference it struck me again, the fresh pain and the brave women who come for hope and encouragement. As we sang worship songs together mingled with tears, I thought this is what a sacrifice of praise looks like. It's when your heart is broken and part of you is wondering where is God and how could He let this happen?

Then in the face of His truth and in the presence of other hurting women we find a thread of faith and hold onto it and sing the praises someone else wrote. That thread says there is a way through the pain. God has not forsaken me. And I believe He is worth my praise beyond my circumstances. God then looks down and smiles as His children take one step closer to Him. He reaches down and places His loving arms around us. Can you hear Him saying, "Dear one, I understand your pain. I see every bit and count every tear. Hold on to me because I can use this, even though it wasn't my choice."

Anger and fear keeps us from the sweet presence of the Only One who can help us. Take a step of faith today and turn on some praise music. He inhabits the praises of His people. Soak in the words of the song and make it your prayer. Attach your heart to the One who is eternal and, "the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."